So, why Taiwan?
I know. It’s quite an unlikely travel destination. All those Made in Taiwan trinkets don’t really have much exotic allure. It was the money, actually.
Mmm, I’ve heard of those hostess bars!
No, no, that’s Japan! TEFL, my friend, is the name of the game. Teaching English as A Foreign Language.
There’s a demand for English teachers, then?
All over Asia. Korea, Japan, Cambodia, Thailand … you name it. It’s fast becoming the international language of business. Those canny Asian tigers are making sure they’re not left behind.
You were teaching businessmen then?
Some, but there’s also a thriving children’s market. Everybody’s doing it – adults, kids, academics, university students, the hip and the trendy – all learning English. Big Brother, ensconced in Hong Kong, has got a lot of people nervous. Those that can afford it are packing their bags, often for the West. They have the cash but lack the lingo.
And that’s where you come in?
If you’re a native English speaker. Any four-year degree should net you a year’s renewable work permit. You get to save some real money and experience 5 000 years of Chinese culture, up-close-and-personal.
Exactly how much money are we talking here?
I can see where your interests lie! If you don’t guzzle beer at R15 a bottle, you can live well and still manage to save $1 000 a month. Some people walk away with more than $20 000, after an especially dedicated stint.
What do they do with that kind of moola?
Many return … after blowing it on the drugs and sun-splattered beaches of Thailand and the Philippines. Or there’s the sprawling enigma of China just over the Taiwan Straits and India holds endless fascination. The whole of Asia lies on your doorstep.
Ah, the legendary allure of the Orient. What’s Taiwan like?
Crazy, bewildering, fascinating, smelly, choking, infuriating, kaleidoscopic mayhem. In a word … or two.
Bit of a culture shock, hey?
You could say that. Picture stepping off the airport bus into evening in another world. Crescendo of rush-hour traffic. Motorcycles everywhere. Meaningless neon letters, many metres high, crowd the night. They jostle with scarlet dragons and MacDonald’s giant golden ‘M’s for mastery of the city skyline. You find yourself surrounded by the sing-song jabber of foreign tongues. And you don’t understand a word.
So, how do the other half live?
They never sleep. Nobody cooks. The streets buzz until well after midnight. But don’t picture Paris cafe society. This is Asia. You eat from sidewalk stalls and hole-in-the-wall eateries that serve dumplings and tofu, fried rice and noodles and chicken-bollocks-on-a-stick. Unidentifiable objects float in your soup.
What on earth do you do for fun?
Not to worry. There are well-known ‘big nose’ bars in every city where the Westerners tend to congregate in boozy herds.
Sounds just like home!
Isolated pockets of western decadence only, I’m afraid. Although they’re trying. The Fuck Pub is advertised in letters three storeys high. But don’t get excited. They’re not selling what you think they’re selling. The place that does has a unicorn outside sporting an outrageously exaggerated horn. But I’m getting side tracked … Things to do for fun … Ten-pin bowling is big. Just follow the three-metre-high bowling pins that dot the city skyline. There’s no such thing as soft-sell advertising in Taiwan.
So that’s it, hey? Bars with funny names and ten-pin bowling. Sounds like Bloemfontein.
Well, there is that timeless, Oriental favourite, Karaoke. Every corner has one, resplendent in neon and kitsch. But if watching wannabe Chinese Elvises isn’t your thing, there’s the all-night sauna which provides a little oriental decadence of its own. These offer steam rooms and massages, private rooms, blue movies and ladies of the night for the convenience of their mainly business clientele. The women’s saunas, funnily enough, don’t have the same range of amenities.
Funny. That still sounds like Bloemfontein.
Oh, it’s very different, believe me. Life in a busy Asian city with its twenty-four-hour rhythm is far removed from sleepy South African suburbia. Apart from the endless clamour and urban crowding, it is the pollution that South Africans will find difficult to deal with.
Please, man! I come from Gauteng. I know about pollution.
Have I got news for you, sunshine! The daily English newspapers feature a detailed air pollution index which rather alarmingly lets you know exactly how much toxic air you have inhaled that day. The beaches are awash in garbage and Styrofoam.
What was that about the beach?
If you’re into good beaches, then you’ve got the wrong place … But there is Kenting.
Say that again.
Ah, your first Chinese lesson. Pronounced Can Ding and don’t worry about the tones.
It’s a bit like a Chinese Margate with beachfront shops selling sarongs and silly hats. There, all similarity ends really, as Taiwan has to be the only country in the world whose nuclear reactor is located inside its most popular national park.
I think I’ll give that one a miss!
Well, then there’s the east coast of the island which is far less crowded, thanks to a shortage of flat ground. Cliffs invisibly crumble into dark volcanic sand. Lots of sea and sky and spectacular mountain scenery. And if you like your scenery even more dramatic,
there are some hair-raising roads criss-crossing the mountains which separate the west coast from the east coast. Try them by motorbike for full effect.
That sounds more like it!
But Taiwan’s main attraction isn’t its scenery or its cities.
Alright, alright. Tell me about the ‘culture’.
I’ll try to keep it short and sweet, but we have to go back to the end of World War 2 and the beginnings of communist China. So, it’s 1949 and the nationalists have lost the mainland to the communists. They retreat to Taiwan in defeat and set up an independent Chinese government in defiance.
So much for the history. What about this culture thing then?
I’m getting there. The nationalists brought with them the age-old traditions of their homeland which Mao Tse Tung was doing his best to destroy on the mainland. Today, centuries of Chinese creativity, snatched from inevitable extinction, is on display in the National Palace Museum in Taipei.
I knew there had to be a museum in it somewhere.
You don’t have to visit a museum to witness Chinese culture. Despite the influence of MacDonald’s and Mickey Mouse, daily life is governed by traditions that are thousands of years old. They are everywhere in evidence.
Such as?
Ghost Month, for example. Legend has it that the dead are permitted to walk the earth for one month of the lunar year. Flames spring from pavement bonfires as families burn paper money to placate their dearly departed. Ghosts oversee the living while gods parade the streets.
Sounds pretty wild.
Visiting Taiwan, is like dropping in on another planet. Mandarin robes and bonsai trees, Buddhist monks and Confucian temples, dragons and Taoism, pagodas, pollution and plastic. It’s unlikely you’ll be bored.